May’s Illness and Death

This flow follows May’s decline, the final conversation in which she tries to reach Marcher, and the loss that leaves him without his closest companion.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

The First Warning

The First Warning A Change in Health May’s health becomes uncertain, and Marcher begins to fear that a catastrophe may take her from him. Her condition introduces a real danger into a life dominated by imagined ones. He worries about what her death would mean for her and for the vigil they share. His concern remains partly centered on the loss of his own companion. A New Vulnerability May has long appeared as the steady witness to Marcher’s fate. Illness reveals that she is mortal and has needs beyond the role he has assigned her.

The Fireless Room

The Fireless Room A Scene of Decline Marcher visits May in a room without a fire, where her pale appearance makes her seem distant and exhausted. The order of the room gives the scene an air of finality. He senses that she may already have reached some understanding he lacks. Her frailty intensifies his fear of being left alone with the unfinished mystery. A Pressed Question Marcher asks what she considers the worst possible event for him. May admits that she has a belief she has never voiced, and he presses her to explain it.

The Failed Disclosure

The Failed Disclosure A Moment of Hope May tells Marcher that he will not consciously suffer and that his fate has already happened. He thinks he understands that she is reassuring him about an event still to come. Her expression carries an unspoken meaning he cannot grasp. She seems to offer a truth whose importance exceeds the literal answer to his questions. A Conversation Interrupted May’s strength fails, and she calls for her maid. Marcher leaves without understanding what has happened, convinced that the explanation has again eluded him.

The Last Visit

The Last Visit A Final Clarification May receives Marcher again and tells him directly that the awaited event has come. She insists that his lack of awareness is itself part of the strange fulfillment. Marcher cannot accept that his fate could have acted without his knowledge. May holds to her certainty, describing the event as something that has already made him its own. A Farewell in Disguise May tells him he need not know and urges him not to suffer. Marcher hears reassurance, while her words carry the pain of her own understanding and impending death.

Death and Bereavement

Death and Bereavement An Excluded Mourner May dies, and Marcher finds that their private intimacy gives him little recognized standing among her relatives and acquaintances. He cannot explain why her loss is so central to him. The social world treats him as less connected than people who played smaller parts in her life. His grief has no public form adequate to its depth. A Loss Not Yet Understood Marcher mourns May but still does not understand that he failed to love her in return. Her death removes both his companion and the person who might have helped him understand himself.

During the later years of the London friendship

A spring afternoon shortly before May’s death

Late in the same spring afternoon

Within a week of the failed disclosure

The weeks after their final conversation